Here we are close to 15 years later. Some days it is hard to believe so much time has passed. We’ve been married for almost 11 of those years together. Boy has life changed! At the beginning of our relationship, there always seemed to be plenty of time for dates and quiet nights alone. There were constant feelings of excitement and attraction – an undying feeling of wanting to be together. I still clearly remember how flirting with him made me feel so giddy! After leaving one another at night, I couldn’t wait to get home just to talk to him again on the phone. Let’s face it – the newness of any relationship in itself is a natural high, especially when you find yourself hopelessly attracted to one another.
But as time has passed, we’ve develop a sense of comfort around one another and slowly routine has set in and taken over. Marriage really has make us “comfortable”. All of a sudden dressing up for date night out is no longer as important or so frequent. Knowing that the kids may pop in to visit in the bedroom any given time suddenly changes that freedom and carefree attitude that once prevailed. And so we settle into routine, still in love yet far from as exciting as we once remember.
Today’s exercise called for us to write down the things that attracted us to one another and to think about which of those things are still true.
For Joe, he mentioned that he “adored my face and my down to earth attitude and demeanor”. And although he swears it’s still true, he says he admits that it drives him crazy that I have a habit of stressing over things that I cannot control. He just wishes I would ease up sometimes and live more in the moment instead of worrying needlessly. (I must agree with him here. This is most definitely part of the Mom in me – I feel this never ending need to be responsible for my family at all times – mentally, emotionally and physically.)
As for me, Joe had me at hello. He was sexy, charming and incredibly intelligent (and still is!). I especially loved how he acted like a gentleman around me, opening my car door and surprising me with flowers at work on some of my most stressful days. There was something about being around him that always made me feel loved and protected. I knew I was in love when I could not help but smile everytime I thought of him. All of his qualities are still there and many are stronger than ever. When the whole world seems to be crumbling around me, he is always there to lift me up and get me going. He is my soulmate and best friend. And he still opens my car door everytime we go out on a date. As for the irritating little things he does that drive me crazy…well they are all just little things (leaving dirty cups behind with napkins or paper crinkled in them, putting wet towels on the bed, drowning in the TV to the point that he can no longer hear me…) and I am pretty certain they are not going to change, so I am learning not to sweat the small stuff.
The biggest difference today than before we were married is that we now have endless responsibilities that eat up the majority of our attention – kids, bills, work. We both agree that we still love one another unconditionally and all of the qualities that made us fall in love.
We also agreed, however, that we need to find more time to enjoy each other’s company alone. We are going to make it a point to schedule more dates together so that we can refocus on the feelings we have for one another that we often take for granted. It’s about time that we get back to enjoying some of the things we used to do together that made us fall in love. Perhaps we might even try something spontaneous and super exciting even – like meeting each other somewhere and flirting like old times to see just where it leads. Hmmm…rekinding the old and making it new again? I can just imagine what Joe has in mind. LOL.
If you are interested in participating in your own experiment, the experiment is free and can be found by clicking the K-Y Intimacy Experiment tab on the K-Y Brand Couple’s Page on Facebook. In the mean time, I will be checking in daily to tell you more about my own experiences.
Disclosure: I wrote this posting while participating in a blog campaign on behalf of K-Y® Brand and also received product samples to help facilitate my review. All opinions and experiences in this article are solely my own.
